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Elsje - My Very Special Friend
by Sonja
Ridden
[When
Geoff asked me to speak at Elsje’s funeral I was honoured
but, when attempting to get something together for that
speech, simply felt unable to do so. I’d been so
shocked by the surprise-diagnosis and then the speedy
progression of Elsje’s illness, that my whole focus had been
to simply spend whatever time was possible at her side
saying my personal good-byes. Thankfully I was able to
do that but, after her death, got quite sick myself and
found that this, combined with the grief of losing my dear
friend, simply rendered me unable to give any thought to
speaking at her funeral. After I’d let Geoff know that
I wouldn’t be able to do it I thought that this would be the
end of that. However, once the funeral got underway, I
felt overcome by the urge to honour Elsje by saying a public
farewell after all. This, however, meant that my
speech was rather impromptu and, of course, without notes.
So when Geoff asked me to add my speech to all the other
last farewells, so that he could post them Elsje’s website,
all I could do was try and piece together what had simply
came naturally on the day. This was no easy feat but I
have tried to give it a shot and, although I doubt that I’ve
remembered it all or that my words on the day were the same,
I trust that I’ve captured the sentiment.]
I first met Elsje when my family and I moved next door to
her some 24 years ago. It wasn’t long after we moved
into Newlyn Close that Ross arrived on our doorstep, empty
wine glass in hand, asking: “You wouldn’t have something to
put into this, would you?” Well, we did . . . and it
was the beginning of many a time spent together, of getting
to know each other and of having loads of
fun in doing so.
For some
years Elsje and I walked our dogs through the bush every
Monday. In fact we did so until we fell foul once too
often of the bushranger, who’d catch us and tell us off.
Elsje was known for her great love of animals. Who
would have thought that I’d be holding a cat’s paw whilst
she was giving birth to her litter or that I would be
walking the bush trail accompanied by a couple of cats that
braved the wilderness whilst sheltering underneath Danny’s
(Elsje’s dog’s) body. What trust and what a sight to
behold!
Elsje’s
love of animals, however, didn’t just encompass her domestic
entourage but extended to all creatures great and small.
How could I forget the time, soon after our move to Newlyn
Close, when I found myself holed up by the biggest,
hairiest, most ghastly spider I’d ever laid eyes on in my
entire life. That was terrifying and who would come to
the rescue but my lovely and, thankfully, non- arachnophobic
neighbour!
And then
of course there were the legendary parties that have already
been mentioned a number of times - New Years Eve parties,
Danny’s birthday parties, new kitten parties and so many
others. Yes, Elsje was definitely a party girl but it
wasn’t those parties I remember the best - the ones that
live on in my memory were the surprise 40th
birthday party Elsje and Ross gave for me. I’d had
absolutely no idea about it and since we’d only just moved
into the neighbourhood not too long before, it was even more
of a surprise. And then again my 50th
birthday party – a party I had planned to give myself but
simply couldn’t because I was too depressed at the time.
Elsje, with the capable help of all our fantastic
neighbours, pulled that one together for me as well.
How could I ever forget? . . . And what a pleasure it was
being able to share Elsje 60th birthday with her
earlier this year. I am just so sad that she won’t now
be able to join me for my 60th – the party I will
finally organise myself.
But even
though all these are great memories it wasn’t any of them
that cemented our friendship. What created love and
trust between Elsje and me was so much more important than
any of that – it was our mutual commitment to emotional
honesty – to being ‘real’ with one another and to living
life authentically. This meant that we not only shared
many a laugh but also many a tear.
Elsje has
been a cherished friend but I’ve never admired her more than
I have during these past few weeks. Having had the
honour and privilege of spending time together with her
during her final journey and especially in those last days
of her life, all I can say is that I’ve never witnessed
greater courage and grace than I have during that time.
I stand in absolute awe at the bravery with which Elsje
faced the inevitable. She was truly amazing!
I'm sure
that I speak not only for myself but for all our neighbours
when I say: Elsje, I’ll miss you. Rest in peace.
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